Recipes for the Bipolar Palate, by Rabbi Marc Wilson
Written by admin2 on December 12th, 2008Filed under: Themes, The UpDown Report
Recipes for the Bipolar Palate
by Rabbi Marc Wilson
AKA “Rabbi Ribeye”
AKA “Rabbiner von Beefsteak”
Have you already figured out that I am as bipolar as a rubber band? When I am up, I am a hyena. When I am down, I make Hamlet look like Jerry Lewis. Thank God for leading-edge medication, an understanding therapist, and a loving and ever-patient wife.
You probably do not know that I am a columnist for BP Hope, a magazine for manic-depressives. Usually I write book reviews—self-help books, autobiographies, even a DVD that follows crazy-quilt images through the eyes of a bipolar photographer.
Then, an editor determines that I like to fool around in the kitchen. “How would you like to write a food column for BP?”
“You’ve got to be kidding. A bipolar food column?” “Sure,” he says, “simple dishes like salads that won’t become too frustrating. And for God’s sake, no alcohol!”
Nah, I think. This will never work. What we need is “bipolar food” for bipolar people—obvious dishes like sweet-and-sour meatballs. What about hot-and-sour soup? Frosted Flakes breaded chicken? Now let’s get creative: Crush up Sugar Pops and shape into matzo balls. I knew a hausfrau who shrouded her gefilte fish in aspic of lemon juice, horseradish, and raspberry gelatin. Now, that’s what I call a bipolar recipe.
Why limit ourselves to bipolarity? Paranoids might get a rush out of chicken feet from the soup. God knows what they’ve walked through. What about masochists? Give them the hairy cow’s knuckle from pitcha. The chronically depressed? Teach them to make oatmeal. Obsessive-compulsive? Show them how to mix five flavors of jam together, like my bubbe used to. Manic? Here’s how to make a fresh hot cup of coffee, coffee, coffee, then a bottle of Coke. Delusions of grandeur? Tell them your recipe for gefilte fish is really quenelles de poisson. Ah, schizophrenia: Feed their hallucinations with onion sundaes and chocolate-dipped herring.
Wait! My mind is running too fast! I’m suffering from delusions! I’m so worried! I might get fired! I’m craving raw garlic! I need my potato chips NOW!
What’s that, Boss? You want me to review Alice in Wonderland? Whatever you say. But have you ever read that book? You may not know what you’re getting me into.
Bonus! Here’s an original recipe for Bipolar Frosted Flakes Chicken (courtesy of Rabbi Wilson):
BIPOLAR FROSTED-FLAKES CHICKEN
Ingredients:
1 – 2 chickens, cut in eighths
1 cup melted butter or margarine
OR
1 cup mayonnaise
±1 tablespoon Tabasco sauce
2 cups crushed Frosted Flakes
2 cups crushed corn flakes and/or Rice Krispies
Instructions:
Preheat oven to 375º.
Spray cookie sheet or shallow pan with non-stick spray.
Combine crumbs in shallow bowl.
Season butter, margarine and/or mayo with Tabasco, if desired.
Roll chicken pieces in butter, margarine and/or mayo, then in crumb.
Bake uncovered, skin-side up, for 45 minutes to an hour, pricking with fork to see when juices run clear.
Great dipped in more Tabasco.
Marc Howard Wilson is a rabbi, essayist, community activist, and culinary commentator. He has served congregations for four decades. His commentaries have appeared in the Washington Post, Philadelphia Inquirer, Chicago Tribune, and Jüdische Allgemeine (Germany.) His blog, marcmusing.blogspot, has an international readership.
He has delivered keynote addresses at Clemson and Furman Universities, and South Carolina United Methodist Convention.
He is a summa cum laude graduate of DePaul University and was ordained by the Hebrew Theological College. He was a Graduate Fellow at the Chicago Institute of Pastoral Care.
Wilson is founder of two homeless shelters and has served on the Mayor’s Religious Advisory Committee (Co-Chair), Bioethics Resource Group, Hospital Clinical Review Committees, and Clinical Pastoral Education programs. He was named Community Servant of the Year by the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, one of Greenville’s 50 Most Influential Leaders by Greenville Magazine, and one of the Fifty Best Reasons to Stay in the Carolinas by Southern Living.
He is the founder of Faith Communities United, and founding chairperson of St. Baldrick’s Day for childhood cancer research. He also makes a kickin’ kosher gumbo.
He can be reached at marcwilson1216@aol.com.
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Shalom, I’m very interested in your church, would like more info. I’m jewish, 52 years, live in Taylors, SC, parents from Bialystok.
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Shalom alechem Mark,
You may remember me from Skokie Yeshivah back in 1968. Anyway we’re a long way from there in in time. Like you, I got both my B.A. and M.A. two and four years later respectively.
Speaking of time, we both made the big mistake of endorsing Jimmy Carter for president back in 1976. Well, we’re not prophets. I did teshuvah in 1980 by becoming a Reagan Democrat and I voted for him again in 1984.
I read your articles about being bi-polar and admire you and your wife, Linda, for your valiant triumph over the disease that you once suffered. I thank Hashem that neither my wife, Chana, nor I ever had to go through it.
I also read your “bi-polar” recipies and got a kick out of your t-shirt. I also got a kick out of you line,
“When I am up, I am a hyena. When I am down, I make Hamlet look like Jerry Lewis.”
You also have written some other interesting articles as well.
Last September Chana & I were in Greenville where she interviewed for a job in PM&R but she did not get and offer.
Anway, the lateness of the hour dictates that I must sign off. I have a carpet whose cleanliness I must keep and blocks to walk before Chana & I go to sleep. ( Translation: I have to walk the dog and mail four letters.)
Wishing you and your family a k’siva v’ chasima tova
Sandy Goodman