Wisecrackin’ with Lewis Schofield (plus bonus Aspling Central Update!)
Written by admin2 on January 16th, 2009Filed under: Regular Contributors, Lewis Schofield, Themes, Auties & Aspies, QuIrked Kids, Irked Videos
I’m a kid with Asperger Syndrome and a lot of other disabilities like Anxiety Disorder, Sensory Integration Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Learning Disabilities, Non-Verbal Learning Disabilities, Severe Allergies and Asthma. I also have Myasthenia Gravis.
Like my mom says, just because I have an alphabet soup of disorders doesn’t mean that I am alphabet soup. I’m a professional kid with Asperger’s and cool ideas.
CAUTION: The following video will make you laugh so hard you’ll fall down.
Laugh so hard you’ll cry.
Laugh so hard you’ll forget to breathe.
Laugh so hard your cheeks will throb.
Laugh so hard your funny bone will sting.
Laugh so hard you’ll get a stomach ache…
…but in the good way.
Lewis will tell you three jokes now:
Get the Flash Player to see this player.
1st joke: I’m right 98% of the time. Who cares about the other 3%?
2nd joke: If something’s spelled wrong in the dictionary…how would you know?
3rd (political) joke: No one had the Nativity Scene this year in Ottawa. It’s not ’cause of religion, they just couldn’t find three wise men.
Bonus Essay by Lewis
Lewis wrote the following “Aspling Central Update” for a recent edition of the midnightinchicago.com e-Newsletter:
I was looking at my website this week and realized that with the arrival of IE 7.0, my website just isn’t loading up properly. In fact, it’s been quite some time since I updated and overhauled the entire site so my project for January and February 2009 is to strike and rebuild my website.
In the meantime, I’m pretty busy these days with a few important projects. One of the most fun projects is the new segment at Irked Magazine, wisely entitled “Wisecrackin’ With Lewis Schofield.”
I was going to include an observation but decided not to and this observation was that you hear lots of people say they are overwhelmed or underwhelmed but you never hear anyone say they are just plain old whelmed. I got to wondering. Is whelmed even a word?
It actually is and when I looked up the definition, I came to the realization that whoever pegged the word overwhelmed obviously didn’t know what whelmed meant. So for those who, like me, want to know what it means when you are whelmed here are the dictionary definitions!
1. to submerge; engulf.2. to overcome utterly; whelmed by misfortune.
3. to roll or surge over something, as in becoming submerged.
So the next time you think you are overwhelmed, ask yourself if you aren’t just whelmed. If you are whelmed and then some, you are quite accurately overwhelmed then.
Now that we all know what whelmed, overwhelmed and underwhelmed mean, I can honestly say that I was overwhelmed by Philip Patston’s blog, and if you’d like to know why you should click on this link and check out what he wrote! I think you’ll enjoy his comments.
Well that’s it from me for this month. Next month is Valentine’s Day month. For all you guys with wives or girlfriends or moms, remember that Valentine’s Day is on the 14th and this year it falls on a Saturday. Take your mom out for lunch and then take your wife or girlfriend out for supper. Trust me. It works better that way. 
Irked Magazine’s very own Alphabet Souperintendent
This edition of Wisecrackin’ with Lewis Schofield sponsored by:
and
27
PM
I have read and enjoyed everything you have ever written for Irked magzine. Your new column Wisecrackin’ with Lewis Schofield ‘cracks me up! It is funny, witty and smart. Thanks for making me think and laugh at the same time.