“Like peanut butter and jelly, Cowboy and Wills are the perfect pair”

Filed under: Themes, Auties & Aspies, Books & Book Reviews, QuIrked Kids, Irked Videos, Interviews

The book Cowboy & Wills opens the day after critically-acclaimed author Monica Holloway’s adorable three year-old son Wills is diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. She takes him to a pet store; and from her first impulse purchase of a full aquarium, Holloway quickly graduates to hermit crabs, hamsters, African dwarf frogs, and a rabbit. But like all children, what Wills wants most is a puppy. That Christmas, eight-week old Cowboy arrives and forever changes their lives.

Where Wills is cautious, fastidious, and tender hearted, Cowboy is rambunctious, affectionate, and impulsive. Soon, the boy who could barely say hello to his kindergarten classmates is going on playdates, learning to swim, and sleeping in his own bed. Through it all, Cowboy is there, dragging him toward other children and giving him the confidence to face his fears—with her by his side. But love is not enough to save the beautiful Cowboy from her fate, and the cruel world of puppy mills quickly catches up to them. When Cowboy is diagnosed with lupus, Wills and his family realize that they must be there for her, just as she was there for them.

Monica Holloway sat down with Simon Spotlight Entertainment (a division of Simon & Schuster) for a discussion of her life’s path as a mother and memoirist, and the unexpected trajectory this path has taken through her life. Here are the highlights:

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Where does your desire to share these parts of your life come from and how do find the courage to face the blank page (or computer screen as it were) and examine your life so openly?

I’ve always been very expressive—perhaps too expressive—and I have this wonderful friend, Beth Schachter, who was constantly telling me to put my stories down on paper. I refused to do it. I was an actress at the time and Beth was a director. One Sunday, when we were both out of work, Beth suggested that I write down a few stories and that the two of us could develop them into a one-woman show—she could direct and I could perform. But I was procrastinating writing the stories. So Beth bought a cheap tape recorder at Radio Shack. She sat me down in our tiny five-floor walkup that we shared in New York, and I told her some stories. She recorded what I said and I transcribed it onto paper. Beth edited them and added the transitions. Eventually, we came up with a one-woman show entitled, “Spontaneous Vertigo” that we did in New York. That was the first thing I “wrote” and after that, expressing myself on paper became more natural for me.

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Do you ever feel that you are revealing too much of yourself, or exposing your family, through your writing?

I heard Joan Didion speak two years ago, and she said (and I’m paraphrasing) that when you write nonfiction, you always “sell someone out.” And when I heard that, I thought it was such a negative way to look at writing memoir, but since then, I’ve come to realize that she was probably right … Cowboy & Wills was such a relief and a joy to write because Wills is the absolute love of my life and to tell the world how brave he is and how important it is to recognize the power of healing through animals was an incredible honor.

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I would love if you could provide a working definition of autism, or some way in which to explain the way Wills functions that is distinct from our experience.

Autistic people are as diverse and complicated and wonderfully individualistic as someone who is not on the spectrum … Autism is a “spectrum” disorder, so there is a huge range in terms of where a person falls on that spectrum. You have probably met many people who are on the spectrum who do not show obvious signs of autism; you don’t even know they have it. In others, it can be much more pronounced. If you were to meet Wills today, it would be my bet that you would not automatically assume he was autistic. He’s that high functioning. Neurologically, he was able to improve and for that, we are extremely grateful.

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How did the acquisition of and caring for animals help you cope with the fear, stress, and insecurities of adapting to a new understanding of Wills’ life?

Animals bring life to a home, and they don’t require explanations when you’re sad or worried or angry … Acquiring animals was a natural reaction to not wanting to be alone with the diagnosis—my husband was in Chicago working at the time of the diagnosis and I was very overwhelmed and felt quite alone.

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After searching high and low for a puppy for Christmas, you threw caution to the wind and went to the Pet Chalet in Beverly Hills, reasoning they’d never stoop so low as to deal with puppy mills. And yet, where there is money to be made, anything is possible…

The following is a link to a local paper called The Canyon News. It’s an article citing the lawsuit brought against the store for selling puppy mill puppies. The store has since closed. We were not involved in this suit, which I now regret. We were despondent over losing Cowboy, and Wills was so devastated that we concentrated on taking care of him. A lawsuit at the time seemed almost too enormous to deal with, but we should have been front and center. Now the task at hand is going after puppy mills. Wills and I are very dedicated to that. Wills wrote a letter to Barack Obama last spring asking him to, “Please stop the puppy mills. Animals are being hurt and malnourished. Please stop this from happening.”

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Author Temple Grandin discusses the innate and intuitive relationship that exists between people with autism and animals, describing autism as “a kind of way station on the road from animals to humans.” In many ways, Cowboy was a guide dog down that road, bringing Wills out of isolation and in contact with the world.

At the time, I hadn’t read much about dogs helping children with autism, so it was blind luck that we chose a puppy and not a kitten or, God forbid with my small yard, a pony. I was thinking, “warm and loving dog to bring Wills comfort” but what happened as a result of their relationship was nothing short of a miracle—which is exactly what dogs do—perform miracles.

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What life lesson from your puppy do you hold most dear?

Cowboy never whimpered or showed her discomfort in any way. Given how sick she became, I could only admire her determination to keep up with Wills as he ran through the yard or seeing her wagging her scraggily tail while she stood by the garage door hoping to go for a ride with us … Her loyalty and fierce love for all of us was an honor to behold. It was so pure and came so naturally for her.

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How is Wills doing? What is he up to? How does he feel about the book? And did you get any new pets…

Wills is twelve now. He’s brilliant and funny and open. Socially, he’s come such a long way. He would never need a puppy or a mommy to stand in front of him now. He handles social situations all by himself and with aplomb. That isn’t to say that he still doesn’t work on his social skills, but it comes much more naturally now … Wills and Buddy, our new dog, go everywhere together. Buddy is two-and-a-half years old now, and healthy as a horse. She weighs a whopping ninety-eight pounds and is so sweet and gorgeous. Wills’s heart will always be a little broken over the loss of Cowboy and I don’t think that’s something that will ever truly go away. As I wrote in the book, Cowboy was his “first love and his first love lost.” You never outgrow feelings for the “firsts” in your life. When Cowboy comes up, Wills still gets quite emotional … Three days ago, we bought another golden retriever puppy from Buddy’s breeder. Wills named him Leo Henry, and he’s only eight weeks old. He’s SO cute, and Wills is having a blast. Now he has two dogs sleeping in his bed.

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Learn more at monicaholloway.com

And please…

Buy Monica’s exceptional book

Then…

Read Irked posts tagged “autism”
Read Irked posts tagged “dogs”
Read Irked posts tagged “interviews”
Read Irked posts tagged “friendship”

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