Top 10 Ways To Break The Ice With Your Nurse
Written by admin2 on September 12th, 2006Filed under: Themes, Tumour Humour, Top 10 Lists
Top 10 Ways To Break The Ice With Your Nurse
10. Fill bedpan with chocolate pudding and salsa; whistle Mission Impossible theme as she carries it away.
9. Call her “stewardess.”
8. Try to convince her of your firm conviction that your tumor is the karmic by-product of “all those kids I ate.”
7. Lock her in bathroom; insist that she refer to you as “Warden.”
6. Act baffled when she enters to minister to you and say: “They told me I had a prostrate dancer.”
5. Sew your right hand to your lips and laugh whenever she’s around – oblivious to your dementia, she’ll of course think you’re cute and have a funny little secret.
4. Ask her if she wants to play “Find the caduceus.”
3. Strategically place a copy of Hustler sticking out from under your mattress, your subscription label clearly visible. After all, they love readers.
2. Demand that your doctor tell you why the night-shift nurses dress in snowsuits and shout at you in Icelandic.
1. Fart.
Reprinted courtesy of Planet Cancer.
