by Brian Segal
It’s difficult to write a short story about insomnia, when most of the time you are too tired to know exactly where to begin. Click to continue »
My (Mal) Adapted Van
by Brian Segal
To preface my story I should mention I have Multiple Sclerosis, hence the tale of the adapted van. I was originally planning on calling my story A Tale of Three Cities (with apologies to Charles Dickens). It has been almost 5 months now since I sent my van to a company in St. Hubert, to have it adapted with a wheelchair ramp and accompanying devices. I chose this specific company to do the work after having done a fair amount of research. Of the three companies available in the region of Québec, it seemed like the best choice.
Miracle Cures!
by Brian Segal
Maybe it is just human nature, or perhaps I am being a trifle cynical, but it seems that whenever there’s a disease that has no “one shot remedy,” there are always people out there who come up with “miracle cures” that are either very costly or hysterically unscientific…or both.
I have Multiple Sclerosis, and many well-meaning friends (and a few not-so-well-meaning charlatans) have tried to convince me of the efficacy of one cure over another. These run the gamut from allowing yourself to be stung by hundreds of honeybees (based upon the belief that raising the histamine level in your body will somehow alleviate the MS symptoms), to wearing magnetic insoles in your shoes so that your balance is improved (because of the iron in your blood somehow being attracted to these magnets). I once tried to explain to a proponent of these magic magnets that the iron in your blood is chemically combined, and that it’s Newton’s gravity that keeps you upright and stable. I have undergone MRIs which use very powerful magnets to image your body. If the iron in your blood was magnetic, then all of myblood would have been drawn from my feet to the top of my head as the MRI did a full body scan. I tried to use the analogy that there is water bound up in the molecules of newsprint that form your daily newspaper, yet you would hesitate, I hope, to throw a Gazette on a burning sofa. The more rational an argument I attempted to put forward, the more I was accused of being a cynic or, worse, of being someone who’s been brainwashed by the evils of Modern Medicine. Oh well, bring on the bees!
If you suffer from arthritis and feel that wearing a copper bracelet will somehow alleviate your symptoms, go for it. A copper bracelet costs $10 to $15 and, as far as I know, has not been the cause of anyone’s demise. Having your histamine level raised a thousandfold by countless bee stings, on the other hand, haskilled people. I should add that those who provide this bee sting treatment charge thousands of dollars for it. And that does not include the price of a coffin if required.
Then there is the Reiki massage. Because I have MS I enjoy a good massage. It helps to alleviate the soreness and spasticity of unused or overused muscles. The thing I do not understand is how you can be massaged by someone who does not even touch you. Why would I pay $100 for someone not to touch me? If anyone out there is interested, I won’t touch them for $50, a savings of $50. By the way, how is one trained in the fine art of not touching??
If anyone feels like refuting some of my statements feel free to do so by leaving comments below. I enjoy a good argument.
Yours sincerely,
Brian
PS. At this time I regret to say I am unable to provide tax receipts to all those I don’t touch.
Brian Segal is 56 years old and living in the country north of Montréal. He was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis about 16 years ago and, when asked, tells people he is retired (It sounds a lot better than telling people you are on disability insurance). He is happily married, no children, but one very friendly husky cross. He also has the good fortune of living in his own home, not a home.
