…Much More Than Bipolar
by Mara McWilliams
Spiritual Being created in love by the Universe for the Universe.
Daughter, to the Divine Goddess and God above.
Mother, to the biggest blessing life can offer, a precious daughter.
Sister, to a younger brother whom I miss very much.
Aunt, to a beautiful niece and nephew with whom I’d like to bond.
Lover of nature, rocks, trees, streams, and the ocean.
Lover of the Elements — water, fire, earth, air, spirit
Pisces from beginning to end in the fullest sense of the definition )-(
Lesbian - finally fully realizing my worth, my preferences, my sexuality
In Love with a woman who is helping me recover my spirit
Cutter — Self-mutilator, RECOVERING (though I never thought possible)
But no one is worth me hurting myself!
Insatiable — always willing to go safely to the next sensual level
Very Wacky in a fun loving way
Pagan — in love with Mother Earth, The Sun, The Moon, The stars and all our other planets.
In tune with lunar cycles and energy fluctuations
Writer, poet, fiction novelist, song lyricist
Dreamer who gets lost in worlds full of vibrant colors and visual challenges
Artist, visionary — acrylics, watercolor, colored pencils — vibrant expressions of self
Student of life — never prepared, but always willing to learn a new lesson, pain and all.
Alcoholic, RECOVERING. Thank the Universe!
Anorexic — working on little meals throughout the day and finding I am healing.
Bipolar & on meds but still riding the wave because there’s nothing else
for one to do.
Borderline — but self-learning cognitive behavior therapy to alter my
reactions to similar situations and circumstances
Delusional, hearing lil’ whispers calling me by birth name before I drift
asleep
Spastic, hyper, bouncy red rubber ball hip hoppin’ off the walls
Bisexual — a mask to hide my true sexuality
Atypical — not caring one way or the other
Rape SURVIVOR
Abuse SURVIROR
Asexual — preferring to not be intimate with anyone at all
Grandiose, believing I can conquer the world.
Deflated, because I know I can’t.
Exhausted, not having the energy to open my lids.
Lonely, sometimes just wanting to cry and hide under a snuggly down comforter
on a big huge bed with lots and lots of pillows.
Vain — milking my looks before they go away,
Yet fearful I’ve never had them anyway.
Reclusive, puzzled by the so-called sanity outside my door:
Arsons, Mutilations, Murders, Child molestations…
Honking cars, Traffic Jams, too much out there —
Inside here is preferable, where I am sure of who I am
And who I can become.
© 2006
If art is communication, Mara McWilliams is screaming. A California-raised, self-taught “outsider artist,” Mara was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder at 19 years of age. For most of her life she fought the demons associated with mental illness, until she decided to use the illness to her benefit.
The birth of Mara’s art came from despair and led her into recovery. For her, art and recovery are inseparable. Mara started painting daily and has found art to be the truest form of self-expression. She chooses to not be restrained by the technical boundaries associated with the various genres.
As an artist, it is Mara’s goal to relay the intense feelings associated with mental illness to her audience without stereotypical pretenses or filters. Painting allows that interaction to take place. The paint acts as emotion while the canvas is the treasure chest in which all hopes, fears and vulnerabilities are stored and shared with viewers.
She lends these same gifts to her poetry. Her first book, “Outta My Head and In Your Face,” opened to critical acclaim and adorns the libraries of some of the greatest thinkers of our generation. Through her art and poetry, Mara McWilliams hopes to be a hopeful blaring voice for those who are afraid that life ends after diagnosis.
See more of Mara’s work at www.recoverythroughart.com.
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